I don't know what to do! Advice Please? (Men and women)?

I just don't know what to do about my marriage anymore. My husband and I were PERFECT before we got married, and everyone else said so but when we got married and had our son, it all changed. He stopped talking to me, he tells me everything I'm interested in, ';Only an idiot would care about'; or something similar, he quit sleeping with me.. now we got months at a time and nothing but a little kiss, usually on the forehead, before he leaves for work.. all of this started just months after our baby was born so, upon the advice of my best friend, I stopped cooking for him, washing his clothes, packing his lunches, laying out his clothes.. everything. I stopped doing everything for him, which is what he did for me (besides working, but I see it this way- his job is his work, my job is caring for our baby.. we're even. Everything else I will resume as soon as I start to get some respect again) This is what I told him the other day when he started yelling at me and I asked him to please be an adult and not yell at me in front of our son and he slammed the laptop on my hand and smashed my pinky so as a reaction I knocked it off my lap and he went crazy! He raised up his foot (He was half sitting/laying on the couch) and slammed it down/kicked me in the top of my thigh as hard as he could. I didn't react and just told him to please not act like that which made him madder so he sat up and grabbed my left wrist and twisted it as hard as he could. All of this after he had already told me how fat I am and how I can't even sit in a normal chair (which is ridiculous, I absolutely can). IDK, I'm sick of it. He's hit me lots of times. ONce he threw a brand new can of whipped cream at me and hit me in the back of the head. We're supposed to close on some land/a house in five days but I'm thinking of staying here b/c I can't handle it anymore and he just says that he'll take our son with him (he's 2). He's in college and I'm not yet, so he says that no court will give me custody when I have ';no education and no job'; Is that true? I'm just lost and really don't know what to do!I don't know what to do! Advice Please? (Men and women)?
I don't know what to say. You don't need to put yourself and child around abuse. You should leave him before he turns his anger torwards the kid. If it keeps getting worse then one day it eventually will turn torwards your son.I don't know what to do! Advice Please? (Men and women)?
Unless you are proven unfit he can't take your son away from you. If you have no education and no job then he will be paying child support and possibly alimony. Do not tolerate this juvenile behavior from him. BTW he is abusive and not too many courts would like kindly on his behavior.
he can't take your son if he has a history of being physically violent.


look up your local domestic violence shelter. they can help you


in lots of ways. they can help you get away, provide counseling, and help you get an education. don't wait - go as soon as you can!
you do need a job no women should ever let herself be totally dependent on a man..courts don't like to take a child from a fit mother ..next time their is abuse call the law so they have proof of his abuse ...it will help out your case and look bad on him give you more power
how old are you two???? either way you need to get out of there now. you can't stay with somebody abusive like that. i'd report it to the police.
How about calling the police after he has hit you? You could've used that in court.
Christ lady. You should leave him, but since you had his kid he'll never be far enough.
If you tell the family court that he hits you and has thrown things at you and is physically abusive, they won't leave your son with him.





You seriously need to get divorced. The two of you have WAY too much growing up to do.
Girl, you've gotta leave.


It doesn't matter if he is in College or not, if he is abusive, and you have bruises or cuts to prove it, you will win any custody battle. He still has to pay child support so it's got nothing to do with financiality. It is who would your toddler be safer with.


He is abusing you, you can go to the Police at any time and lay a complaint. Domestic violence is more common than you think and should be taken seriously.


You sound young, my advice is go and stay with your mother or another family member with your child. Don't try and confront him, he sounds like he has some issues.


You may have been Marrying the Perfect man but now you are bound to an Abusive partner. He isn't a man, he's a bully.





You deserve better.
you need to leave him immediately. chances are the family court will rule in your favour, being the mother and primary carer of your son. it would also be best to make a police report about the abuse right now, this will also assist you in any custody case. i you leave it til after or don't go to the police at all, it will just look like you are ';slinging mud'; trying to make him look bad so you get custody.


seriously, pack your bags now, go to the police station to file a complaint, then head to a friend/ family members place til you can get thing sorted out. dont sit and wait to see just how violent he will get toward you and your son.
I don't like any relationship that is abusive - either verbal or physical. And you have both.





I don't think things will get better if you close on the property and you move into a house. I would bet you are living in an apartment now - and in an apartment - the neighbors are more likely to hear hitting %26amp; then call the police if things get out of hand. In a house..would anyone hear?





For professional resources you can trust visit the website below (best if you go to the library during the day - computer usage on your laptop can be tracked) or call the 1-800 number.
Your husband sounds verbally abusive if he's so quick to belittle you, but worse is the smashing your hand with the laptop! You need to GET OUT OF THERE. Go to http://www.ndvh.org/ or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. Once you and your son are safe, talk to a lawyer about custody, because it's not as cut and dry as who has the better education, especially if he's acting out violently at you.





Good luck! D=
Don't answer these questions on posting, but definitely give them much thought.


In your question, you made no mention of what your pastor has to say about this? Could it be that you do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ? Hmmm! Then , you probably do not read, and study The Bible daily either. Another Hmmm! Girl, why do you think God went through all the trouble of getting you a ';human'; owners manuel? (Won't do a third) All the answers are in The Book. Hopefully, I'm wrong, but let me guess, you had intimate relationship before you were married? The Bible is very clear on this subject(and a few others). See, when you sin, you give place (legal right) to the devil, and his job here is to ';steal, kill, and destroy';. Any of this ringing any bells??? I am part of a spiritual warfare team, so girl, this stuff is very real, what you got going on in your home is demonic ';oppression';, and what your family needs is a biblical deliverance ministry. Simple terms, you've got demons running your house, and husband. Don't think so? Just read Ephesians 6:12; can't get any plainer than that! My recommendation would be to inquire at your closest Bible book store, as they will be the ones to be able to send you to the proper folks. With what's going on, I wouldn't drag your feet here, this is very serious.
Get away from him-he is only going to get worse. Also, do not get any further obligated with him at all. I can't stand even to read what is going on there with you two. The comments, grow up, etc.. have zero to do with it. This is flat out mental and physical abuse and he will get worse with age and time. Do you want to raise your son as a witness to it-where it will affect his life and relationships? He is beating you down with the custody issue and trying to control you. You need to report it the next time it happens and get some evidence, photos etc...Next time he hurts you go to the ER and get it documented. How can the he qualify for house and land while just in college? He's going to need his cash for child support and alimony (depending on your state). Good luck.
1. Pull yourself together, be wise and stronger.


2. Take out a note book and trace back with dates and if you can times of day exactly every thing he did against you (physical %26amp; verbal), in front of the baby and away from the baby. Journalize everything.


3. When he is away at work, pack a bag for yourself and baby of a change of clothing, some snacks, baby stuff, money, important papers, birth certificate, your diploma, drivers license, etc,.


4. Hide the bag some where in the house.


5. Notify your parents or a good trusted friend of your situation


6. Let your husband come home, eat his dinner, then sit down with him and tell him that the two of you need to seek marriage counseling, that you love your family enough to resolve this situation once and for all.


7 If he agrees, but then later falls again or if he does not agree or just starts fighting again. Wait till he is out of the house, get that bag, your baby's bag and the baby and LEAVE.


8. Let your parents/close friend you will be coming over, because of such and such.


9. Remember to journalise this last event with your husband and start divorce proceedings.


10. divorce your husband on account of abuse to you and your baby ( by doing it in front of your baby). On account of his extreme temper and that he can go off at any moment doing anything, with the result of hurting anyone in his way baby included.
your husband is abusive and dangerous, get away from him and take your son, next time he hurts you get it on the record that way no court will ever give him custody, sorry he sounds scary, save yourself and your son
This is an abusive relationship and you need to get out before he starts to abuse your child or winds up going too far with you and that lands you in the hospital or worse yet the morgue and that is no joke. These things can get out of control really fast. You see he has a lot of anger.





There is no such thing as perfect, but you can say you were happy. I would say the if all of this started with the birth of your Son then that tells you right there that he was not ready to take on that responsibility and not ready to be a father.





I suggest either trying to contact some family or go to a womens and childrens shelter and believe me no court is going to award a man that custody of his Son when he is abusive. Fight him all the way on this.





You just need to stay far away from this man. Start planning now. Take some extra money on the side if you can. Take as much money as you need out of the account if you can and run to the nearest shelter. They can help you get back on yoru feet by sending you back to school, getting you a job, and helping you with daycare. Do you want your Son to be scarred for life seeing this?
This is abuse. I suggest you take your son and go to somewhere safe. There is reason to believe there is danger to you. Call the cops and get pics. of any bruises. If it comes up in court he has abused you, he wont get custidy. That is a way to control you.
Take your son and leave now. He is abusive to you and that cannot be tolerated. Go live with your parents, a friend, anywhere. Do NOT sign on any new property or any new loans. Time for marriage counseling or a divorce. What you described is not a marriage at all. And his threats of taking the kid? Don't believe him at all.
Wow. Where to start? Well, though it was a BIG mistake for you to rush into a marriage and have a kid with this guy, at least you have enough sense in you to realize that you should leave him. Of course he's saying that you won't get custody in order to scare you into staying. But either way, leave him. Don't conform to your gender role and justify it by saying that you consider it ';even'; that you take care of the household duties while he works. Be independent and don't live off of a man. Once you do, you will realize how liberating it will be.
Girl.


No marriage is perfect.


Try to have a day together.


Make a date or something to catch up on stuff.


I'm sure he loves you. Give it a try ;)