Thursday, August 19, 2010

I don't know what to do! Advice Please? (Men and women)?

I just don't know what to do about my marriage anymore. My husband and I were PERFECT before we got married, and everyone else said so but when we got married and had our son, it all changed. He stopped talking to me, he tells me everything I'm interested in, ';Only an idiot would care about'; or something similar, he quit sleeping with me.. now we got months at a time and nothing but a little kiss, usually on the forehead, before he leaves for work.. all of this started just months after our baby was born so, upon the advice of my best friend, I stopped cooking for him, washing his clothes, packing his lunches, laying out his clothes.. everything. I stopped doing everything for him, which is what he did for me (besides working, but I see it this way- his job is his work, my job is caring for our baby.. we're even. Everything else I will resume as soon as I start to get some respect again) This is what I told him the other day when he started yelling at me and I asked him to please be an adult and not yell at me in front of our son and he slammed the laptop on my hand and smashed my pinky so as a reaction I knocked it off my lap and he went crazy! He raised up his foot (He was half sitting/laying on the couch) and slammed it down/kicked me in the top of my thigh as hard as he could. I didn't react and just told him to please not act like that which made him madder so he sat up and grabbed my left wrist and twisted it as hard as he could. All of this after he had already told me how fat I am and how I can't even sit in a normal chair (which is ridiculous, I absolutely can). IDK, I'm sick of it. He's hit me lots of times. ONce he threw a brand new can of whipped cream at me and hit me in the back of the head. We're supposed to close on some land/a house in five days but I'm thinking of staying here b/c I can't handle it anymore and he just says that he'll take our son with him (he's 2). He's in college and I'm not yet, so he says that no court will give me custody when I have ';no education and no job'; Is that true? I'm just lost and really don't know what to do!I don't know what to do! Advice Please? (Men and women)?
First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. You need to get away from him and I know that it is hard because you have a young child. But your husband is an abuser and it's not going to get better. You don't want your son growing up and seeing his dad beat his mom and who's to say that your husband won't eventually start hitting your child. Of course he's going to threaten you and say he'll take your son because he knows that using your son will make you stay and put up w/ the abuse. Talk to a family lawyer, some offer a free consultation and also look a women's shelter. I know they can help and protect you and your son. Hopefully you have family you can also go to for help and support. I really hope you find the help you need.I don't know what to do! Advice Please? (Men and women)?
I think me and you should talk. Thats' so strange because my boyfriend has done somewhat of the same thing before. You can IM me if you want tanyamarie88 on yahoo...
you would be granted joint access with your husband unless you can show that your husbands contact with your son is detrimental to your sons health and well being.


It sounds as if your husband is jealous since the problems started after your son was born, this is common for men after a baby is born because they no longer have your undivided attention.


If your husband is becoming violent like you say the best thing is to leave, its a big step to take but it can be done. Maybe just being apart for a week will make him see what he is missing if you leave for good. Hope this is helpful, remember its not just you that this happens to nd there are plenty of groups that can offer you support.
TAKE YOUR SON AND GET OUT!!!! Your obviously in an abusive relationship and that is not healthy for you or your child. Sounds to me like he is probably cheating on you also. Men just dont stop wanting sex. Get a divorce. You legally have full custody of your son because you are his mother. Go to a lawyers office and talk to a lawyer about your situation.
Okay first of all thats abuse! Do you love him still? You really need to talk to him say sorry spend more time with him start doing everything again try getting a babysitter and have dates with him more often. Maybe even take your son and his father to a cruise or vacation. If this doesn't stop call the police when he hits you or you have another fight.They will let you keep your son.
You do not deserve to be treated this way. You have a choice to make and that is do you want this marriage to work? If yes, get ready for the long haul. Are you a Christian? If so watch the movie FIREPROOF.





You also need counseling. Do not let the custody thought enter your head. What he said is not true.





I'm saying a prayer for you as I send this. You deserve to be treated with respect.
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