When I was younger (17yrs old) I experienced being a bottom and it was the worst feeling ever! I didn't enjoy at all..!! Ever since that day I been traumatized about the pain. After that night I tried it many times but as soon as the penis touches my butt I STOP. I would like some advice.. how to relax? Maybe Anal Ease? I'm just really desperate to satisfy my BF and would like FOR ONCE to enjoy the sex.I need advice from GAY men about Anal Sex and reducing pain?
First off, don't use Anal Ease. Yes it makes you feel less, but not only does that decrease the pleasure you receive, but more importantly it dulls your senses, if something is wrong, you need to know it.
As for how to reduce the pain, here are a few steps to try:
1) Use large amounts of lube and if need be add more lube during the act.
2) Try letting your body to adjust to insertion either with a finger or a toy. Again use lots of lube and go very slowly. If you are using any sort of a toy make sure it is meant for anal play, it should have a flared base so it doesn't get lost inside or make sure it has a loop or something to make sure that you/your partner can hold onto it. Also make sure that it's made of a material that won't break, will clean easily, and will be used more than once.
3)When you finally get used to insertion, have your partner go very very very very very very slowly, if he truly cares for you he will have no problem spending as much time as necessary.
4) Once he's finally in, take a minute to let your body adjust, yes that means he needs to sit still for a minute
5) You need to find a way to relax your mind, maybe even get off before you try it. The more calm you are, the more relaxed your body and mind is, the more you're looking forward to it, the better the chances that you will enjoy it.
Good anal sex really shouldn't hurt, may feel a little odd as your body adjusts, but it shouldn't be painful. And don't worry about the whole diaper thing, your boyfriend has to be extremely extremely large in girth and you have to be having a lot of very regular very rough sex for that to happen.I need advice from GAY men about Anal Sex and reducing pain?
Well, I'm not a gay guy, but let me throw a bit of advice your way... you're not going to be able to enjoy it unless you're completely relaxed. If you try to do this thinking you NEED to do this, then you're not going to be relaxed... you're going to be very tense and just wanting to get it over with. Try some foreplay to get you a bit more relaxed and in the mood. If you're horny enough, you might be willing to do it for enjoyment rather than because you feel like you have to. Also, not everyone is a fan of anal sex. Don't feel bad if this is the case for you. There are other ways to have ';fun'; with your partner. Maybe you should try penetrating. Good luck! And sorry I'm not a gay guy... just trying to help though. I hope I have, at least a little. =)
All boils down to this: 1 does your bf have a large penis?
2: do you mentally want to be on the bottom at the time he's asking for sex?
3: MAKE HIM TAKE HIS TIME!
Some men see an @ss hole and wanna jump straight in and not take their time. Get a fleet enema kit, pour out the contents and fill it with warm water, follow the instructions. REMEMBER, no man wants a sh!tty deal. Get proper lube (WET LIQUID IS MY BEST FRIEND). Condoms are a must.
for your first penetration, you should try riding him, it gives you all the control. you can ease down on it and when it becomes too much, you can easily get up and wait or try again. it's mostly all mental. if you realy want to feel him in you and please him then that's when you'll deal with certain things.
REMEMBER if you don't feel comfortable, then stop. if he really cares about you , then he will understand and wait until you are comfortable and ready.
I was the same way at first. I kept trying and failing. What I've discovered is this...
First, you need lots of lube. If you think you have too much lube, it's probably just enough. There are lubes to reduce feeling which may help you. Second, relax and go slow. Have your partner tease you and engage in foreplay for at least 20 minutes so that you are nice and relaxed. When you are ready to be penetrated, GO SLOW. You may want to be on top so that you can control the speed at which things take place. You'll get used to the feeling after a bit.
Edit: I've only used a toy, but this is what helped me.
lots of lubricant, take it slow, and if he is large, then i would suggest starting with something smaller to ease your way into it. you can buy toys at the adult stores or even on ebay. frankly it helps to start with something small and then progressivly work your way up to bigger, and better :), things
use lots of lube, and then lots more. Maybe have him start off slowly by using his finger then working up to the real thing. Make sure he does it slow, if he does it right that pain will soon become pleasure. Also try playing with yourself at the same time it seems to really help.
Never use anything to numb yourself down there. Unfortunately you just have to 1. relax and 2. understand that the internal sphincter is, unlike the external one, an involuntary muscle that has to relax on its own and should not be rushed.
try giving yourself a warm water enema just before having sex,it not only cleans you out inside(which makes it more pleasurable for both of you)but it will also help relax you
Talk to your doctor or type it in on google, your bound to find something.
im not a gay man but, baby oil gel works wonders...
make sure he knows about ur past experiance.
also make sure he goes in slowly...
You don't! Stop while it's still safe. If/when you lose that muscle integrity, you will poop in a bag or diaper for the rest of your life.
There's also a great potential for infection and disease.
Think about it, sex shouldn't hurt
accept the pain as this is only the beginning of your bad choice to your path of least resistance called: seeking pleasure
DUH!! If it hurts...Don't do it!!
Maybe because the whole was made for things to come out not things to come in....
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