Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Advice from men and women please when it comes to the independent woman?

For all the strong and independent woman, how did you balance being strong and independent yet vulnerable where your guy did not find you intimidating?








For the men, how were you able to handle your strong and independent woman without feeling like she was taking away from you as a man?








Statistically independent women are not married, and one of the main reasons is because it鈥檚 said independent women operate in a way that says not only do I not need a man, I don鈥檛 need anyone, and I feel like I have that going on. I don鈥檛 mean to, but I think I do.








I have a decent job, I am a homeowner, just bought another car, I am college educated, but I am also a single mom, and I am not 30 years old yet. This is not to brag because I know I am not the only person under 30 who has this because some of my friends have this plus more without any kids, but they are also single.








This guy told me and my friends over the weekend that we have everything all we are missing is steady sex from a man (not toys) in our life cause that鈥檚 the only thing we can鈥檛 provide for ourselves. What are we suppose to do if this is how men (not all men) feel? Who says we don鈥檛 want to be loved we only want someone to have sex with on the regular because we have done well for ourselves. Is that our punishment for wanting to succeed in life?Advice from men and women please when it comes to the independent woman?
It takes a strong man to understand a strong woman. I've been blessed enough to find two such men in my life - my late husband and the man I live with now. They both understood that my independence and sense of personal goals/worth had nothing to do with my love for them. In fact, they were/are both delighted to find a woman who can take care of herself. I think it makes for a refreshing change when a man finds a woman who isn't clingy and dependent.





One strong ox in the yoke is great - TWO strong oxen makes an unbeatable team.





Of course, there are rough areas. The man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with is an old-school Southern Gentleman. I know it's been hard for him to accept that I don't need a knight in shining armor. I'm my own knight, tyvm. But I've recognized that he needs me to need him, and I've kept my mouth shut lately and let him do things for me that I would normally do for myself. (Changing tires, confronting men who come onto me lewdly, etc.)





Compromise - maybe it's a skill learned with age? I don't know. I only know that if my man wants to change a tire that I am perfectly capable of changing myself, I stand by and let him, then I thank him profusely because I didn't have to sweat all my make-up off and break a nail doing it myself.





Sometimes strength is all about knowing when to accept help.Advice from men and women please when it comes to the independent woman?
When the independent woman realizes that except for being a Mom none of the things you mentioned identifies who she is.





She should be fun, personable, smart, imaginative, ready to still do new and exciting things.





Strong and independent.....doesn't mean condescending and closed-minded or intimidating.
Lets have more independant women because I am sick of freeloading skanks.
sex is not the only thing a man can provide... what about a friend, a shoulder to lean on, someone to be there to hold you to comfort you in bad times, if you are sick who helps you? if tired who puts the baby to bed? if lonely who do you turn to? a man is a wonderful thing to have around. if you have that ';air'; about you that ive got it all then yes thats what many men think.


i know you have it all under control, but a man NEEDS to feel needed its in his dna.... find ways to make him feel needed. wanted. desired. its ok to be vulnerable.... find ways to let that vulnerability out, as scary as that can be sometimes.
Just like you said, I do not believe that it is all men that feel tat way, sounds like you have done very well for yourself, I also believe that you can have both. When I first started dating my bf, he told me how great it was to date a woman who works, I was shocked, all his past girlfriends did not work, He has his money, I have mine. I am an independent woman, but I also have a man who wants to marry me. We share all the responsibilities, and before he came along, I was doing it all myself, I didnt feel like I needed anyone either, but I did not settle, I found a man that was not threatened by an independent woman, and can hold her own, he does his thing, I do mine...Dont let anyone tell you its a punishment.
I used to be that strong independent woman. I didn't settle down until close to 40 - and it felt VERY vulnerable. I fell in love with a man with a lot of baggage, and I had to make a lot of sacrifices, changes in my life. He is also a very 'take charge' kind of person. I was used to handling my own things, and it took me years to become somewhat content with the fact that I don't have 100% control over my things and my life, if I want to be with him. I was lost for quite a while, but toughed it out, and finding a balance. It is hard.

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