I'm tore between two men! Any advice?

Okay,So the first guy I dated in high school.I dont know what it was about this kid but I just couldn't keep my eyes off on him. We both lost our virginities to each other. We dated for 6 months and then we we're on and off for about 2 years. He was always very flaky. He cheated on me and never really seemed interested in romance. We worked together and He ended up getting addicted to coke and left town to fix things up. We didn't talk to often for about a year or so after that. Then He moved back into town and I found out He was going to the Air Force in Japan for 6 years. I got ahold of him to let him know that I'm proud of his decision and to wish him good luck. We've been talking ever sense. He's came and visited a few times and we've kissed and talked about the past and pretty much explained our dumb childish decisions to each other and now thats behind us. So it's been about 7 or 8 years sense we've meet so we've gone down a pretty long path. Now He's 24 and seems to be looking to settle down. We've been talking for almost a year now and he's expressed his love for me. He's said He's dated around and hasn't found anyone that loves him and makes him feel the way I do. Now He's offering I move to Japan to live with him and we start a life together. I love this man and care for him more than anything.





Problem is...While he was gone I started dating someone else. We have been together for 3 years. He's wonderful. He loves everything about me from day 1 and would take a bullet for me. He saved me from bad situations and does everything in his power to make sure I'm okay. BUT... he comes with alot of baggage...like... a bunch of felonies and a messed up family of alcoholics and drug addicts. He's always in trouble with the law and spent 7 months of our time together in jail...of which I waited for him. He's addicted to drug dealing and thinks its the only way to get money. He does have a job but when things get ruff thats all He can think of...DEAL DRUGS! That's something I dont agree with because that's the whole reason He went to jail to begin with...but He doesn't listen.I can't even tell you how many times I've told him not to do something then he ends up doing it and going to jail. Now He's picked up another charge for sale and possession. We've had our outs and now we know each other from front to back. He's my best friend and my lover but I dont know if I could see myself marrying him and having children. I also dont know if I could see myself without him!





opposed to the first guy...I could defiantly see starting a family with him.





I'm getting to the age where I need to settle down.





Guy number one seems to be going somewhere in life %26amp; my family loves him.


Guy number two...not so much %26amp; my family hates him. HATES!





My question is... Do I stay with my current boyfriend who doesn't seem to be progressing but I LOVE HIM!


or


Do I pick the guy who fcuked me over in High school,grew up and then realized He was a total *** and I don't really KNOW him anymore? Should I give him a chance?





My current boyfriend seems to be trying now but from what I've noticed that only last for so long...


I dont know if I could do this in and out of jail thing with him any longer.





Any advice?I'm tore between two men! Any advice?
From what you've told us, I would say Guy 1. Yes, you've had a troubled past, but it's in the past and he's ready to settle down and he's ready to be a good companion for you.





As for Guy 2, if he's in trouble with the law, if the only way he's making any money is dealing drugs, getting himself in jail...then I don't think it's worth it, and I think you might end up getting hurt.





But I guess the only advice I can give to you, is to follow your heart and trust your instincts. Don't second guess yourself. Choose for yourself, not for anyone else.





Good luck, I really hope things work out for you :)I'm tore between two men! Any advice?
2 is a loser. Do you want to spend the rest of your life that way?





Sounds like #1 is the obvious choice
It seems you go for the bad boys. You got yourself in quite the predicament well. If there is no hope for guy number 2 getting off his drug dealing addiction leave him. Take a chance with the guy from Japan or give up on both of them and start from scratch. No more guys involved with drugs. How can you raise kids with something like that?
I can completely understand your situation. I know this guy 1 may have been an asshole to you in the past, but like you said he has a plan. Also when you're that young you don't take anything seriously. Guy 2 seems a little too comfortable with being a felon. I had kids with a guy like that. He didn't want ti take care of them, he only wanted to sell drugs, play video games, and smoke pot. Needless to say, we are no longer together. He was also really sweet, just selfish.





If you've been talking to guy1 for about a year, you should know by now what you really want to do. Look at it this way, if you don't go with Guy1 to Japan, you will probably ended being a single mom with kids %26amp; a drug dealing baby daddy. It sounds like you should evaluate what you really want for your future. With Guy2 it seems like you really have nowhere to go but down, or stay where you are? And if you're interested Guy1, then you're really not that happy anyway.





Besides, you probably won't be in Japan for too long. They get to transfer or ship back frequently. It sounds like you should give Guy2 an ultimatum. Tell him, he needs to stop dealing or you walk. If he refuses, then he doesn't really care about your feelings. If he trys to change, but then keeps failing, he's not ready to be in a serious relationship.





Trust your gut. There's no right or wrong answer. Just whatever you feel is best for you and your future. Since you can't read the future, base your choice off of what you know.