I recently left my sig other, I know he loved me and cared about me, but on the other hand his alcohol took control on too many occasions and changed the way I viewed him and our relationship. He is also one who is VERY self absorbed who lives his life trying to impress other people.
all in all, as much as I know he cared for me, he treated me poorly, took me for granted, showed no care in keeping our relationship together, does the things he does OVER AND OVER and comes back begging for me to give it another chance. I know this man could care less though, if he did he would go out of his way to prove it.
My question is, why is it that he is this way when he has been treated this way by his ex's in his past? They degrated him and screwed him over in so many ways and now here he had a woman who would give him anything and he is doing to her what they did to him. WHY?WHAT IS WITH HIM? (men's advice also?)?
And how do you know the other women did what they did to him? Poor victim that he is. Did this information come from him? uh, maybe he was the same to them, as you say he is to you. Perhaps he hasn't really grasped what love is all about. As you say, ';He does things over and over';. That says he came to you in this condition. Did you think you were gonna change him? Maybe he can blame it on his mother as well. He has problems. Doesn't matter WHY he does what he does. But if you really need an answer.....How about your own explanation?
';self absorbed'; would be the the most evident reason behind his actions....WHAT IS WITH HIM? (men's advice also?)?
Because he was so badly hurt by their behavior towards him in the past, that he feel like behaving this way with you and others is the only way he can ';protect'; himself from getting hurt in the future. He feels as though he cannot trust anyone with his true feelings, because he will get hurt. Hope this helps!
I just answered this for someone else. You can't change people very much in a short time. He will continue in patterns he is used to for awhile. You need to deal with it and change them slowly or move on.
It's a hard road to help someone fix major things like that and you will have to accept that some of it may never change.
My question would be- Why do you drive your man to drink excessively and then try to act like he's the bad guy? Sounds like you did him a favor by freeing him to live his life instead of drinking himself to death.
He was being himself with you, just like he was being himself with his exes. The fact that they treated him the same way he treated them is irrelevant.
What does this have to do with Marriage %26amp; Divorce?
Sounds like he is just an immature Jerk. As long as you keep giving into him, he will continue to do the same things. You deserve better than that... let him go.
he may feel that all women are alike in some sense.
OMG I know this guy! Honestly if sounds allot like my ex. I also knew he loved me same as you know your man loves you. But I can tell you one thing, he loved his alcohol much more, sadly.
Its a difficult situation dealing with an alcoholic and unfortunately that's what they love the most. Eventually, we usually get tired of the I love yous and the begging for another chance, I feel that day will come for you too.
He can only help himself now, there's nothing you can do to change him. I feel for you and have been there, feel free to email me if you like to talk in more detail.
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