I told my husband i wanted a divorce, but we've been together 8 years and 1 year married, things were just going wrong, well after i told him i wanted a divorce i realized i made a mistake and i wanted my husband back b/c i wanted to work on things, we have a 3 year old daughter and we've been together for a while like i said, well after i told him i wanted a divorce and he ended up contacting me after 3 weeks, and we got back together, i found out that for the 3 weeks he had slept with someone else not once but 3 times, and all kinds of other stuff, i need to know why a man would do this?? is it b/c he doesn't love you, is it a rebound relationship?? He tells me he made a mistake and that im his world, and he is truly sorry he wishes he could take it back, but im just curious to why a man would do it?? and to women if you have ever been in a situation like this, tell me how to deal with it, I mean i told him i wanted a divorce, but why would he do this??? please help!!!I need some advice from men that have possibly felt this way or done this, and women can help too!?
Men rebound because they just dont share the emotions like we do. I'l bet it ';meant nothing'; for him to have sex with that someone. I would be hurt, as you seem to be, but if you truly love him and think he is sincere, maybe you can work things out. i would be a little concerned that he could erase his feelings so easily.I need some advice from men that have possibly felt this way or done this, and women can help too!?
What is it Bill Clinton said --- ';because I could';
Don't play games if you aren't ready for the consequences....tell a man to get lost and be prepared for the fact that he may take you literally.
I had a gf that moved out after several years, told me she wasted her life with me, posted on-line dating profiles before her stuff was out of the house and then got upset cause a month after she left I was with someone else --- ';you lose thanks for playing.';
What a rat! he should of at least waited until the divorce was final. Mabe he is not in love anymore or could have been seeing someone else along the way. He must not be a great husband to begin with if you wanted a divorce. You will never be able to trust him now, can you live like this forever?
You didn't want him anymore so he thought. Now you decided that you do he was probably confused, but you guys were still married so it didn't give him a right to cheat. But can you really be mad at him you were just as confused as he was. It will work out. Good Luck!
Rejection of a loved one is emotional. You threw him out because you wanted a divorce. What he did during the time you were both separated is his business and not yours since he did'nt contemplate a reunion. You only have yourself to blame.
i don't know - maybe he did it because you said that you wanted a divorce. If I thought I was going to getting a divorce, I might date some other women.
8 year relationship and he starts new in 3 weeks? ah, yeah, this is a joke relationship to him.
YOU WOMAN ARE NEVER HAPPY YOU END UP SCREWING YOURSELF . YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT U GOT TILL ITS GONE ASK MY EX..........AINT NO SUNSHINE WHEN IM GONE.
Maybe he felt kicked to the curb and it didn't matter what he did at that point. It wasn't about you, it was about him. Maybe he was sad and lonely. He called you and you got back together. Forget it and move on. It's a bump in the road, a big bump. Either way, is it more important to dwell on that or to make your marraige work? Not trying to sound unsympathetic, but in my world I would just have to remind myself that we were not together, that there was an impending divorce, and remond myself why I wanted to work on my marraige, why I wanted to save it in the first place and make that my goal.
he would not have slept with anyone if you didnt ask for a divorce. its action causing reaction. I'm sure he was hurt and when people are hurting jsut like when we are mad we do stupid things. I believe he is sorry. You gave him a void and he needed something in its place. you were not there anymore and asked for a divorce. so he slept with someone else. I would forgive him and work on the marriage. He was just hurting because he loves you. men act differently some men may have waited years hoping you would come back to them and never dated an kept on the wedding ring for years...(women usually do this) but your husband did something he thought would take away some of the hurt..he slept with someone else...remember this would NOT have happened had you not asked fo r a divorce. Not that this is your fault by all means...but he just made a stupid mistake. 8 years would be hard to throw away for this....good luck
You rejected him he found someone who did not apparently he believed you when you said you wanted a divorce. Women have sex when they feel loved men feel loved when they have sex we are wired opposite that鈥檚 a simple as it gets. The next step is the hard part the relationship which looks like it needs more work then it did before you two broke up for three weeks. Now you can add guilt and trust to the list of whatever else was wrong probably communication. Good luck it always takes two.
You told him you didn't want to be with him anymore. He was hurting and confused and scared. He was looking for comfort and one way for him to get it was through sex. Also since you told him you wanted a divorce he thought he was in the free and clear. He wanted to stop feeling hurt. The sex gave him a break from his pain and anguish.
I know you already know this but for others who read this Divorce is a big nasty word that unless you really want one you never want to use.
You are both going to have a lot to work on in building back up trust both ways. I would suggest marriage counseling.
You told him you wanted a divorce. Did you expect him to not believe you? Did you expect him to become a monk? He didn't really make a mistake, he was separated and getting on with his life.
You need to have many long talks about what you both expect for your marriage to be mutually fulfilling. What's past is past, you can't take back your words and he can't take back his actions. You both will never forget this blip in your lives but it just might turn out to be the turning point for having a marriage others might envy.
its because a man can find someone faster than us. it does not mean that he don't love you. but you all were not together and it was you who said you wanted a divorce. so if you want to stay with him then you need to not bring up what happened when you were apart. it happened its over. just pick up things again especially if he says he is sorry. give your family a chance and next time don't use that word so freely...there are always consequences.
Sounds to me like he was aware of the relationship breaking down and this person he slept with was possibly someone he was talking to and confiding in and had built up some kind of relationship with ... once you'd asked for a divorce that sort of opened the door for him to take this a step further (which he obviously did) ... it may have just been a rebound thing ... but if he really loved you he'd have been hurt and lost and would have fely sooo guilty about sleeping with someone else ... but to do it 3 times over a 3 week period???.... but love is a strange thing ... it may have been what you both needed to realise that you do indeed love each other and want to be together .... no-one can make this decision for you ...it's how you guys feel about each other and about what happened that counts
he probably wasnt trying to hurt you he was probably just trying to get some kind of intimacy to make up for not having you around anymore try not to take it personaly. Ive been in a similar situation as you but with the roles reversed, and i wasnt married. i broke up with my boyfriend then slept with someone else and got back together with him about a week later, it wasnt because i didnt love him or respect him, it was because i needed affection and intimacy because i thought that i was going to be without him forever and i was sort of ';filling the void'; if that makes any sense.
But this is a conversation you should probably be having with your husband if you want the right answer to your question.
Good luck.
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