How can i revive my husband's libido? advice from men especially appreciated?

hi,


i would like some advice from men who used to have a low libido but have a good libido now. what did you do to get your sex life back on track? what did your wife or long term girlfriend do to get you exited again, or what did you do yourself to get into the mood for sex again?


i'm with my husband for 11 years, i'm 29, slim and have a good libido and i'm also up for new things in the bedroom/bathroom/kitchen depending.


my husband is 41 and his libido is extremely variable, as in for a month or so we might make love every day or even more than once but then suddenly he loses interest and no matter what i try, be it dirty talk, nice underwear etc, nothing gets him exited. we haven't been intimate in any way apart from hugging whilst standing up in the kitchen since before christmas but everytime i make a move, he's either too tired, playing a computer game or something good is on the telly, backache etc.


i have to add that we do have 3 children aged 10, 8 and 1 year old. but they all go to bed at 9 at the latest so in the evening there should be plenty of time but he doesn't seem to want to make time by putting the computer away or whatever. he gets plenty of sleep, i get up with the kids every morning except maybe once a week and let him sleep until between 11 and 2 in the afternoon.


please give me some advice on how to turn him on again. whenever i try to talk to him about it he blames me, because i go to bed between 11 and 12 every night. but i still have to do nightfeeds and get up at 7 every morning, so it's not really feasable for me to stay up ntil 3 am every night in the hope that he might get in the mood for sex. he still masturbates so where am i going wrong. trying to turn him on doesn't work, and just waiting for him to make a move hasn't worked either. one other excuse of his, fear of another pregnancy before we are ready has been taken care of by me getting a coil fitted, but i have it 3 weeks now and still nothing.


help.How can i revive my husband's libido? advice from men especially appreciated?
You don't want to pressurise him too much but I think communication is key.





Keep him talking (if possible). don't let sex become a 'taboo' i.e., too painful to discuss....





Assuming its not a medical or serious emotional/mental issue....then it is probably that he feels unsexual and every advance you make puts pressure on him to perform. The best way out is probably to show him that he can satisfy you with his hands or mouth. Or just ask him if he'll lie down and let you just 'use' his body, with no pressure on him to do much. (I find that non-penetrative sex can be really sexy and one reason is that I don't have to 'perform'.)





Another thing that might work is to have on and off nights. Agree that say Tues and Sat is a sex night so that on other nghts its not brought up. On the sex nights, make it fun...no pressure just fun....If he doesn't want to do anything maybe he'll watch you masturbate....





...Lastly try to have sexual contact every day. Ask him if he'll touch you betwen the legs every day just for a few minutes...just resting his hand there to create a moment of sexual intimacy....(but no pressure to go further).





I hope that is in someway helpful!!How can i revive my husband's libido? advice from men especially appreciated?
I think it's the pregnancy issue; 3 weeks is not long enough to be safe yet.





Talk to him more, tell him you have to get to sleep and that he can get back up after wards if he really wants to.
Yeah what a selfish f*** it sound like to me. I only wish my wife would do some s*** like that to turn me on. We're 31 and 32 respectively and her drive is in neutral all the time and she gets off three or four times when we do. I would say get yourself a toy or man that is in your shoes and the possibilities are endless. Sound like you are at his beck and call. Do yourself a favor for a month. Take the advice above and when his jerkin is no longer workin and wants a piece tell him you need to take a bath or a nap to get rested up since you obviously do so much more for your children. Sorry for rambling you hit a hot button! Good luck!~
He goes to bed at 3 am and sleeps until 2 in the afternoon???? Doesn't the man have a job??? He sounds selfish and lazy to me.





The other poster is incorrect...a coil is effective immediately after insertion. Does your husband know this?